Relationship Gardening

Robert Whitaker's book, The Anatomy of an Epidemic is an astonishing must read for all because who isn't touched by psych meds- either yourself, or a dear friend or family member? The topic is complex and is handled with ease in both looking through scientific data, making timelines make sense in tracking a drug's history, and weaving in stories from court cases and personal interviews.

A question posed by a woman I know who is bravely gardening her relationship, "Why do I blow up and attack my husband when I know better?"

Here we have a fine example of how we can switch a "Why?" question to a much more useful "What?" question.  The first leans toward too much criticism, and the latter to understanding and better love habits.

"What happened that got my goat?"  Ok, now that will head you in a better direction.

Mother's Day can sure stir up a lot for many of us who have difficult mothers.  More peace is in my life around this day because of the distance I have with my mother.  The more contact I have with her, the more annoyed and mostly mad at myself I get for being led astray from what I know to be true: some mothers will remain true to their brokenness-not present as a healthy mother, not even able to mother themselves very well.  And mine certainly will be happy to tell me she is not here to make my life any better.

Innovative creativity and education thinker and international consultant, Sir Ken Robinson:   "What does it mean to live radically and boldly, so that you don't wake up one day -- decades too late -- wondering what the hell just happened? Where did my life go and why didn't I do the things I wanted to do?"

Your mate loves suprises (maybe-depends, is it chocolate?), but I know something more satisfying than a bouquet that you can give on any day that ends in Y. 

Curiosity.